Wow, it's been a minute since I have typed a blog. Between marital life, motherhood, employment, and school, my life is a tornado right now. But, I'm not complaining, I'm just trying to take it all in stride. I am adjusting amazingly well to working at night again. My husband and my family are such a tremendous help for me. If I didn't have them I would truly be lost.
I love my husband so much. We have our ups and downs, but he means the world to me. Initially it was hard when we first married because I believe a few of his family members had and probably still have issues with me because they were so close to his ex. But do you know what I say to that? Frick it (excuse the profanity). I'm his wife now. His stupid ass ex is the one who threw him out. And they have absolutely no say so in our marriage. I truly hate stating that anyone is jealous of me because they have no reason to be. However, for people to be ugly to you for no reason? One can't help but think that. I feel better and better every day concerning his ex. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about how she used him all of those years. And that bitch had the nerve to cuss him out two days after he buried his mother because she didn't get an invite to the funeral. She is a has been, and I pray for her as well because she has done ALOT of wrong and harm to those around her. I also don't like saying what goes around, comes around, but it is so true. I promise if I ever saw her I would punch her in her face and walk to the jail myself. My husband and I are moving forward in our lives. We are continuing to become closer and closer to our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. We constantly pray for our children, our families, and our loved ones, that they are saved and strive to live a life according to God's will.
My little man is growing before our very eyes. I cannot believe that he is the same baby that was confined to an incubator for the first three weeks of his life. Whoever does not believe that there is a God is on some other ish. My husband and I have just about wrapped up the adoption process for Little Man. Little Man's biological father (excuse me while I vomit) signed and faxed in his portion of the paperwork. I say good riddance, because he will live to regret the way he treated not only me, but Little Man as well. He wanted me to abort Little Man when I was five months along. However, by May, Little Man should be carrying my husband's last name. That will be an extremely emotional day for us, but we are anticipating it so much.
I have decided that law enforcement is NOT for me, and I will be changing my major to Education. I am eager to teach children and I hope that I can prevent them from making many of the costly mistakes that the adults I see each night have made. I am halfway there, and I believe that I will cross the finish line if I can stay focused. I am so sick of writing essays but I know that it is going to pay off in the end. I failed my Anthropology class because I didn't do my research paper. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. And you know what? I was okay with it. I'll just re-take the class again. I've learned that worse things can and will happen besides me failing Anthropology. It didn't even hurt when I went from a 3.6 GPA to a 2.9. I will bring that back up in no time.
Tomorrow makes three months that I have not had a relaxer. I am learning how to love my hair. I am exploring new styles and hair products, and I am learning HOW to take care of my hair. This is an exciting but tedious adventure for me. I am confident that I am in this for the long haul. It hasn't sunk in yet that I might have officially said good-bye to relaxers.
Well, my father and mother have officially reconciled, although I'm unsure of the outcome of this reconciliation. My father mentioned night before last that it seems as though my mother has not changed, and I'm still scratching my head on why this is such a revelation to him. I'm not sure if my mother does not enjoy cooking or simply does not desire to learn how to cook different dishes, but if she hasn't done that in 36 years, I don't see how my father can expect her to do it now. My mother will cook the basics such as beef stew, spaghetti, and fried chicken, but she doesn't prepare dishes from scratch and she does not bake. But this should not come as a surprise to my father. It has always been this way. I am in no way coming down on my mother because she is a wonderful person. The kitchen just isn't one of her "things" like it is mine. I have decided that when I cook I will cook a little extra for them to lessen the pressure off of my mother and make my father happy. I hope they will be okay whether they stay together or not. My father says that he is in it for the long haul, but he has said this a thousand times and left a thousand times also. Additionally, my father has a lot of faults of his own. He has been drinking since November of 2009, and he just has the appearance that he is not taking care of himself. Before then, my father had not taken a drink in many, many years. I love my parents more than I could ever say, but I just don't know sometimes. I continuously pray and hope that everything turns out for the best.
I am getting a very heavy heart and a large lump in my throat because my sister is going on deployment in June. I have gotten so used to her being stationed in Atlanta that I don't know what I am going to do. She will be gone until December, but I wish that she didn't have to go. When she returns from Kuwait she will be stationed in South Carolina, which isn't too bad, but I wish that she could stay here. However, they are closing her base so South Carolina was the next best and closest alternative. It's okay, but four years from now, she will be retired and will be home for good, God willing.
I'm not sure where my brother and his wife are in their divorce proceedings. I am so disappointed in the both of them. My brother's wife acts as though the children are a burden to her, and that she doesn't want to be bothered with them. However, I love her to death, and she will always be a sister to me. For some reason I feel sorry for her. Initially, it seemed as though my brother was going to step up and become a superdad, but that didn't happen. He supposedly has a new love interest, this chick my father says looks like a moose who lives in Louisiana. She is 33, recently divorced, and has four children. They have been communicating with each other via Facebook for a little while, but they had never met each other until weekend before last. They met each other half-way in Mobile, Alabama and spent the weekend together. I worried about him the entire time because people are crazy, and I didn't know if she was going to set my brother up and have him robbed, or if she was actually a he. Hey, you never know. This world is sick. My brother said that they were not going to be intimate, but I find it hard to believe that it didn't happen. Maybe it didn't though, who knows. However, he needs to focus on his children because I will be damned if my niece and nephew ever feel as though they are being neglected. My husband and I will raise them before that happens.
Whew! I said a mouthful. I am going to try to commit to writing weekly updates, because if I don't, all of my blog posts will be this long and drawn out! Toodles!!
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