I'm not exactly sure how to take the start of this year. Granted, it is not nearly as bad as the start of last year, but it has had its "scratching of the head" moments. For starters, I have been employed in my career just shy of four years. Every November, we turn in a shift preference form to our supervisors. On this form, we put our shift preferences in order from our first, second, and third choice. For the first two years I worked here, I always put morning watch (11:30 p. m. to 8:00 a. m.) as my first choice because I was a single mother, and this shift worked wonderfully for everyone, especially my parents. However, for the last two years, I have put in for day watch (7:30 a. m. to 4:00 p. m.), but I have been denied both years. I have been on day watch since August of last year, but that is only because another deputy needed to come to morning watch because of childcare issues. I gladly switched with her. I just knew that I would be on day watch this year because of my seniority, but to my astonishment, I was again denied. I love being on day watch because I am able to maximize my time with our son, and I am able to see my husband at night. I feel that the reason I have been unsuccessful at receiving the day watch shift is that so many people put in hardships to be on day watch because they do not want to work at night or in the evening time. I believe that it is unfair for people to be granted hardships when they accept employment here knowing that shift work is involved and that you can be placed on any shift. I feel as though I have put in my time and I want what is rightfully mine. I was so hurt and angry last week when our assignments were posted and I saw my name under the morning watch column. But you know what? I am fine now. I got out my frustrations, but most importantly, my family and I prayed. God is entirely in control, and he did NOT bring me this far to leave me!
My father called me a few nights ago and expressed his desire to return home to my mother. Any other time, I would have been elated at this news. But now, I am not so sure. My mother has grown so independent since my father left her a year ago. She has done excellent in paying her bills, building her confidence, and enjoying all that life has to offer her. My father is in a financial bind, and he is going to end up filing for bankruptcy. He wants my mother and him to divorce so that his creditors do not come after her, and then he wants them to remarry. He understands that they are in severe need of counseling, but more than anything, we all want the piece of mind knowing that he will never do this again. But how do you achieve that piece of mind when he has done this so many times before?
I don't know what the future holds for my brother and his wife. My brother has moved into his townhouse, and the kids stay with him every other weekend. God only knows what my sister-in-law gets into during the times when she doesn't have the children, but whatever it is, I hope she is aware of the consequences of her actions. I just want the best for my niece and nephew, for all children, because they should never have to pay for the choices that their parents make.
My husband is adopting my son, and everything should be complete by May. Knowing that my husband wishes for my son to become his makes me love him more and more each day, even though we get snippy with each other from time to time. :o) That is truly going to be a day to remember.
My husband and I became incorporated with his trucking business on Thursday. This is a major accomplishment, and he has waited a very long time to do this. Being incorporated has great advantages, including a better tax advantage, and financial possibilities are endless. This is also a huge step in our marriage because I own 50% of the business! LOL! I hope and pray daily that we can continue on in this marriage the way that God intends for us to.
Well, this wraps up the beginning of 2011. Tah-tah for now................
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Friday, December 31, 2010
Good Morning All....
Hello Everyone! I have officially entered the world of blogging, thanks to my best friend in the entire world (thanks Nikki)!
I must say that 2010 has been one of the toughest years that I have ever experienced. For starters, on January 4, my father decided (once again) that he did not want to be married to my mother. I say "once again" because he has left her several, several times in the past. However, this is the farthest that he has ever gone. He has his own apartment, they went through mediation, and their final divorce papers should be arriving in the mail any day now. My parents have been married for 36 years. I was of course devastated in the very beginning, but now, as sad as it is to say, I am somewhat relieved. They both hurt each other throughout the years, but I can say that my mother NEVER cheated on my father, and she stuck by him even though he cheated on her several times throughout the marriage. I do not want them to spend the rest of their lives miserable together, so I am hoping that they will be happy apart.
Now, my brother and his wife are separated. He cheated on her earlier this year, admitted it to her, and they had apparently rekindled their love for each other. Now, my sister-in-law feels the need to cheat on my brother because he hurt her so badly. However, she won't admit to any wrongdoing, even though we all know the truth. She has left their children with my brother every weekend for the past three weeks so that she can go out and do her "thing." She tells her family that she is afraid to be in the house with my brother, but we all know that this is a bunch of bullshit. She has no reason to be afraid; this is just a lame ass excuse on her part to cheat. My brother will be moving into a townhouse this weekend. My sister-in-law decided to take the children to Virginia to see her family for the holiday. The problem is that she is in a rental car that specifically states that she is not to drive it out of state, and, she is taking prescription medication which states that she is not supposed to drive long distances either. She has placed her childrens lives as well as her own in danger. She refuses to cook, clean, do laundry, or any other household duties. If she doesn't partake in these duties as a wife, then how in the hell will she do it as a single mother? My brother asked her if she would cook for the children when they separate, and she said no, that she would hire a chef!
Last month, my husband lost his mother in a single car accident, and I have been trying my best to help him cope. I know that he was close to his mother, and I know that losing a parent is one of the most hurtful roads to travel down. It seems like lately him and I have been arguing about his ex wife. Why? I believe that I have some type of underlying resentment towards her. Granted, they have no children together, but I think I am still upset at him for marrying her in the first place. My husband and I met in July of 2001, and at that time, he had been in a relationship with her for two years. Him and I became instantly became the best of friends. We never, ever were intimate, EVER, even though that is hard for people to believe. The main reason we never slept together was because I was in the Navy, and the majority of our communication took place over the phone. My husband continued on in his relationship, even though she was still seeing her ex-husband off and on. One time my husband showed up at her house, and her ex-husband was in her bed. She claimed that he was too tired to drive home from work, so he dropped in to take a nap! And my husband politely let this go! He practically re-modeled her house, bought her a brand new Explorer, and re-financed her home loan in his name so that she would not have to worry about an interest only loan. He took her on trips to Cancun, Mexico, cruises, and to Florida. My husband co-signed for one of her children's college loans. The horrible part about all of this is that he did these things before they got married! He married her in October of 2008, and by April of 2009, she decided that after 6 months of marriage and 10 years together, that she did not want to be married to my husband any longer. She packed his belongings and placed them underneath her carport. I was there for him as a friend, and as the months moved along, I began to feel so strongly about him. I had told him when I was pregnant with my son that I believed that him and I were soul mates, and how I wished that we had met each other in another lifetime. Our love for each other continued to grow and grow until the point where we couldn't stand it. We tried dating for a little bit, but we both decided to get married. I love him so much, and I know that he loves me, but I am mad because when he divorced, he continued to pay for the Explorer ($442.72 a month), and his name will remain on her house until she either refinances it or sells it, which is not going to happen anytime soon. He pulled his credit report and discovered that she has been late paying on the house several times, which is affecting his credit. Thankfully, the Explorer will be paid off in April, and thank God that I purchased our home before we married. But it still makes me angry that if we ever did desire to move, his name being on that house would hinder us from doing so. I have to remind myself that this is in his past, and that I shouldn't be upset at him for what he did before we got together.
Wow, what a mouthful, but this sums up my year in a nutshell. Hopefully next year will bring much more joy and happiness to my entire family, because this year was definitely a roller coaster!
I must say that 2010 has been one of the toughest years that I have ever experienced. For starters, on January 4, my father decided (once again) that he did not want to be married to my mother. I say "once again" because he has left her several, several times in the past. However, this is the farthest that he has ever gone. He has his own apartment, they went through mediation, and their final divorce papers should be arriving in the mail any day now. My parents have been married for 36 years. I was of course devastated in the very beginning, but now, as sad as it is to say, I am somewhat relieved. They both hurt each other throughout the years, but I can say that my mother NEVER cheated on my father, and she stuck by him even though he cheated on her several times throughout the marriage. I do not want them to spend the rest of their lives miserable together, so I am hoping that they will be happy apart.
Now, my brother and his wife are separated. He cheated on her earlier this year, admitted it to her, and they had apparently rekindled their love for each other. Now, my sister-in-law feels the need to cheat on my brother because he hurt her so badly. However, she won't admit to any wrongdoing, even though we all know the truth. She has left their children with my brother every weekend for the past three weeks so that she can go out and do her "thing." She tells her family that she is afraid to be in the house with my brother, but we all know that this is a bunch of bullshit. She has no reason to be afraid; this is just a lame ass excuse on her part to cheat. My brother will be moving into a townhouse this weekend. My sister-in-law decided to take the children to Virginia to see her family for the holiday. The problem is that she is in a rental car that specifically states that she is not to drive it out of state, and, she is taking prescription medication which states that she is not supposed to drive long distances either. She has placed her childrens lives as well as her own in danger. She refuses to cook, clean, do laundry, or any other household duties. If she doesn't partake in these duties as a wife, then how in the hell will she do it as a single mother? My brother asked her if she would cook for the children when they separate, and she said no, that she would hire a chef!
Last month, my husband lost his mother in a single car accident, and I have been trying my best to help him cope. I know that he was close to his mother, and I know that losing a parent is one of the most hurtful roads to travel down. It seems like lately him and I have been arguing about his ex wife. Why? I believe that I have some type of underlying resentment towards her. Granted, they have no children together, but I think I am still upset at him for marrying her in the first place. My husband and I met in July of 2001, and at that time, he had been in a relationship with her for two years. Him and I became instantly became the best of friends. We never, ever were intimate, EVER, even though that is hard for people to believe. The main reason we never slept together was because I was in the Navy, and the majority of our communication took place over the phone. My husband continued on in his relationship, even though she was still seeing her ex-husband off and on. One time my husband showed up at her house, and her ex-husband was in her bed. She claimed that he was too tired to drive home from work, so he dropped in to take a nap! And my husband politely let this go! He practically re-modeled her house, bought her a brand new Explorer, and re-financed her home loan in his name so that she would not have to worry about an interest only loan. He took her on trips to Cancun, Mexico, cruises, and to Florida. My husband co-signed for one of her children's college loans. The horrible part about all of this is that he did these things before they got married! He married her in October of 2008, and by April of 2009, she decided that after 6 months of marriage and 10 years together, that she did not want to be married to my husband any longer. She packed his belongings and placed them underneath her carport. I was there for him as a friend, and as the months moved along, I began to feel so strongly about him. I had told him when I was pregnant with my son that I believed that him and I were soul mates, and how I wished that we had met each other in another lifetime. Our love for each other continued to grow and grow until the point where we couldn't stand it. We tried dating for a little bit, but we both decided to get married. I love him so much, and I know that he loves me, but I am mad because when he divorced, he continued to pay for the Explorer ($442.72 a month), and his name will remain on her house until she either refinances it or sells it, which is not going to happen anytime soon. He pulled his credit report and discovered that she has been late paying on the house several times, which is affecting his credit. Thankfully, the Explorer will be paid off in April, and thank God that I purchased our home before we married. But it still makes me angry that if we ever did desire to move, his name being on that house would hinder us from doing so. I have to remind myself that this is in his past, and that I shouldn't be upset at him for what he did before we got together.
Wow, what a mouthful, but this sums up my year in a nutshell. Hopefully next year will bring much more joy and happiness to my entire family, because this year was definitely a roller coaster!
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